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May 01, 2024

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On Rate Hike’s and Chronic Embarrassment

Most people do not think twice, or sometimes even once, about things I find deeply humiliating. Off the top of my head:

Anyone who uses the term “girl boss” or “boss babe” in a sentence, the trope of the “clumsy girl” being “endearing” (if I trip on the sidewalk in public I will run home and not come out for a week), sharing a political opinion on any platform that is unresearched, that time I had to walk across the stage at high-school graduation (as if their applause were to indicate it was a feat for me to graduate high-school), anyone who says “we did it!” at a high-school graduation, Instagram posts where people are singing alone in their home (unless you’re actually famous/good), Instagram posts of actors doing auditions (unless you’re actually famous), stand-up comedy (unless you’re actually famous/good), the concept of the “selfie” and subsequent Internet sharing of the “selfie” (if I ever posted a “selfie” it would have to come accompanied with the caption “this is so narcissistic, omg, social media is a cesspool for insecurity and ego-boosting and obviously I’m feeling a bit needy of attention right now – probably from that one boy who hasn’t texted me back – so I’m going to share this edited photo of my face to all 800 people who follow me so they can tell me I’m pretty and worthwhile”), kissing in the rain, clapping when an airplane lands, and finally, how truly embarrassing it is to think that anyone would want to read the Internet’s longest sentence on what I find, truly embarrassing.

This is only the tip of the iceberg.

Maybe God slipped up when distributing shame and I accidentally got the entirety of my generation’s allotment – (which is a strong case for why vloggers exist).

In any case, last week I had a man ask me about the FED’s “rate hikes”.

Last week The Federal Reserve launched a high-risk effort (for the first time since 2018) to tame the worst inflation since the 1970s, raising its benchmark short-term interest rate and signaling potentially up to seven rate hikes this year.


“Rate Hike” is a term I’ve probably heard at least 300 times over the 21 months I’ve been working for EG. So, you can imagine how embarrassing it was for me when I nodded, blankly smiled, and said, “I know, so crazy, right”. I am far too white, too female, too small, and have too large of eyes to be saying such dense things to a financial suit.

I’m sure you see where this is going.

Here is the paint by numbers version of what “interest rate hikes” mean for those of you who also suffer from chronic embarrassment.


Breaking it down because no one likes or understand economics:

The decryption of FED-speak is one of the more irritating things I’ve had to do in my lifetime. For reasons unbeknownst to me, these people have a strong desire to speak in complex code (as if they’ve confused “FED” with “FBI” – this too, is very embarrassing).

From what I’ve gathered, interest rates are raised (or “hiked”) when the economy is doing well.
Raising interest rates results in a slowing of the economy. Why, you ask, would we want to slow the economy? If anything moves too quickly it becomes inflationary.

It is like those couples who say “I love you” upon first meet – 9/10 times this relationship will overheat and fizzle rapidly. Raising interest rates makes it more expensive for the average person to borrow and for companies to refinance their debt.
Put painfully simply: Raising rates = negative for the economy but necessary evil to keep inflation in check.

In turn, interest rates are lowered to spur the economy. At some point in the womb, our tiny brains are hard-wired to never pass up a deal. All central banks know this. Lowering interest rates will entice people to borrow money to buy things like a house or car or Gucci wallet. If you buy a house, for example, you then need furniture and paint and art and cleaning supplies and plumbers and plants and a bunch of other things from other industries that all work to kickstart an economy. Put painfully simply: Dropping rates = positive for the economy.


Who is in charge of all of this hiking?

Have you not been listening? (This question is directed at my sister). The Federal Reserve of the United States (or any country’s central bank) looks at the economic conditions in a country and decides to move rates up to fight inflation or down to entice borrowing.


What are the consequences of these 7 supposed “rate hikes”?

One consequence of all this is that it becomes more expensive to borrow money. The cost of getting a loan has been close to free for the past few years, which is ideal during recessionary times: As aforementioned, when loans are cheap, that encourages people, businesses, and investors to spend money, which stimulates the economy. That said, keeping rates low for too long can cause asset bubbles (a thing I will talk about at another time).


Like, I don’t get it, why is there so much inflation? Why is everyone stressed out?

Reason number 1: Hello Miss Pandemi!

Lest we forget that time of life where we went for walks with our friends holding a 6-inch broom between us to keep a distance and medical masks for good measure.

Last week marked 2 years since Covid-19 was announced a global pandemic. We all stayed inside, grew depressed and some of us worked out too much and others not enough. All this to say, demand for goods and services dropped dramatically (aside from, of course, toilet paper and banana bread ingredients). People were out of work, everything was horrible.

Fast forward to what I like to call the re-emergence. Society slowly started to crawl out of their dark holes and enter the world with hungry consumer eyes. Demand for everything started to increase massively. But, uh oh, all those people who got laid off (the ones who make and transport goods) are not present to support the growing demand. These supply chain issues have made and will continue to make prices for pretty much everything soar until we are able to catch up and replace all the jobs lost, and some. Sound familiar? Miss Pandemi has created an inflation problem.

Reason number 2: Putin tag teaming Covid for ultimate economic hell:
As if the global pandemic were not enough to throw the economy for a loop, the world is also facing serious geopolitical issues. Which you well know unless you have been living under a rock or in Russia (in which case you wouldn’t be allowed to read this). I have written about the Russia-Ukraine conflict here, and here, and here, but for those of you unfamiliar, the United States have imposed several sanctions that have cut off Russian oil supply.

Oil, I’ve been told, is important in regard to gas and energy and a myriad of other things that don’t seem tangible. The global oil shortage has made prices for the commodity skyrocket which, you guessed it, is inflationary.


Until next week.

the only time its ever been ok…

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