Wednesday night marked the last time the sun will set at or after 8pm until May 9th, 2022.
And if you can believe it, that is probably the best news I am delivering on this August Monday. If you’re looking for a Gilmore Girls type read, you may want to skip this one.
(On the bright side, there was a moment we weren’t sure 2022 was even part of the plan. So, that’s something.)
It seems dramatic to say that dwindling sunlight equates to dwindling happiness, but I am dramatic. And it is true. The endless trudge towards Satan’s day (the day the clocks go back in November) is one of the most quietly cruel things to happen to humanity. My sister can attest, (and this is no word of a lie), on the first Sunday of every November I put on some iteration of sweat-suit, order mac and cheese, drink cheap red wine, and watch whatever new trash television is trending that year. I mourn the loss of sunlight in the same way an actor would mourn their utter loss of mystique when booking a role in a Hallmark Christmas movie – this is to say, viscerally.
In any case, I am not here to talk about my Daylight Savings affliction (Although I do believe there should be some sort of annual sunlight-loss funeral, instead of the entirety of society meandering about these dark months wondering why we’re all so depresso and being told by employers and social media alike that “work” will save you. This is my unofficial proposal to the (UN? W.H.O?). I don’t know who could organize such an event, no matter, whoever you are, please consider.)
I am instead here to talk about the exodus of daylight entirely. (I told you it would only get worse). Because according to the IPCC’s 3,949-page report from 234 scientists last week, the current climate change trends are, and I quote, a “code red for humanity”. I know what you’re thinking, oh that’s why I saw all those climate change Instagram stories from that one brunette girl in poli-sci that has taken a stand against wearing deodorant. Yes Josh, yes, it is.
If there was any doubt whether we could partially blame air conditioning for global warming (I’ll get to this), the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) put it to rest.
What you need to know about the UNs New Climate Report:
It’s all our fault. The report stated that “It is unequivocal that human influence has warmed the atmosphere, ocean and land.” They further found that human activity has increased the global average temperature by about 2 degrees Fahrenheit since the Industrial Revolution of the 19th century.
If you’ve been practically anywhere on planet earth this past year, you don’t need to read the report to know that the weather has been having a tantrum… “Heat waves, tropical storms, wildfires, droughts, and flooding are expected to get more severe and frequent if climate change continues at its current rate”. More extreme weather is not a future concern, it is a here and now concern. Who else was dropping ice cubes down their shirt as they lay on their hardwood floor during BCs heatwave at 1 AM? If that is not the image of sheer desperation, I don’t know what is.
Oh, hey energy industry – you’re like, famous now:
The report honed in on one particular human activity for exacerbating the climate crisis: burning fossil fuels. CO2 levels in the atmosphere are the highest they’ve been in 2 million years. We were all told about this in grade school but were too busy sharpening our pencils or, in my case, perfecting my “Stussy S” in my agenda (an absolute Hemmingway in the making).
UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres speaks as intensely as his title would have you imagine: “this report must sound a death knell for coal and fossil fuels before they destroy our planet”.
The 1%:
When it comes to ecological impact, we know that the richer you are, the more damage you do. This pattern is evident across a wide range of indicators…
Take carbon dioxide emissions, for example (the main gas that causes global warming). The richest 10% of the world’s population is responsible for more than half the world’s total carbon emissions since 1990. In simpler words, a small portion of humanity is consuming the atmosphere that we all rely on.
However, it’s not only their consumption that matters (that would be far too easy) – it’s also their investments. When the rich have more money than they can possibly spend, which is virtually always the case (must be nice), they tend to invest the excess in expansionary industries that are quite often ecologically destructive, like fossil fuels and mining. (My guy Antonio Guterres is rolling his eyes as we speak).
The correlation between income and ecological breakdown should alter how our culture idolises rich people. There is nothing worth celebrating about their excesses.
In an era of ecological breakdown, excess is literally deadly.
Economics 101: from a “bitchy” “socialist”
“Bitchy” and “socialist” are in quotes because I did in fact receive an angry email from someone that I can only imagine is an “insecure” “conservative”. I’ve honestly never felt more alive. Keep them coming Josh. I love this repartee we are building.
We live in an economy that is organised around perpetual expansion, or “growth”, which we measure in terms of a cute little phrase, Gross Domestic Product (GDP). GDP must grow exponentially just so the system can stay afloat. This may not be dire if GDP was just plucked out of thin air, but sadly it’s not. It is inextricably coupled to ecological impact; the more we grow the economy, the more pressure we put on planetary boundaries.
Put simply, growth is an inefficient and ecologically destructive way of achieving our social goals. We don’t need more growth; we need a fairer distribution of income. And before you call Bernie Sanders on me, I am offering a concept far from radical: by sharing what we already have more fairly, we can improve people’s lives without needing to plunder the Earth for more. The amount of food waste in North America alone would solve much of the famine and lack of nutrition in other countries. It’s not the lack of food, it’s the unequal distribution.
Even when I’m playing the role of thorough journalist and seek out evidence to the contrary, all research points back to the fact that billionaires – and millionaires, for that matter – are incompatible with planetary boundaries. If we want to live on a safe and habitable planet, we need to address inequality. French economist Thomas Piketty, one of the world’s leading experts on inequality and climate, put it best (as the French usually do):
“A drastic reduction in the purchasing power of the richest would in itself have a substantial impact on the reduction of emissions at global level.”
Hope? Is that you?
During the depths of my Daylight Savings despair (November), world leaders will be heading to Glasgow, Scotland for the COP26 international climate talks. They will be tasked with taking the IPCC’s scientific report and turning it into meaningful policy. (To my editor or boss or whoever reads this: I am pre-emptively asking for the week off to mourn – let me know your thoughts).
We actually have nothing to worry about guys, it’s “just the air conditioning”:
Told you I’d circle back.
“I have a theory about global warming and why people think it’s real. Go back 30, 40 years when there was much less air conditioning in the country. When you didn’t have air conditioning and you left the house, it may in fact have gotten a little cooler out there, because sometimes houses become hot boxes. Especially if you’re on the second or third floor of a house in the summertime and all you’ve got is open windows and maybe a window fan. Or you have some servant standing there fanning you with a piece of paper. When you walked outside, no big deal, it’s still hot as hell. Now, 30, 40 years later, all this air conditioning, and it’s a huge difference when you go outside. When you go outside now, my golly, is it hot. Oh. Global warming. It’s all about the baseline you’re using for comparison.”
It makes sense now. All those scientists who have confirmed a pattern of long-term climate change were just getting confused by their air conditioning. Thank you kindly, Rush Limbaugh, for the low-hanging fruit.
Until next week.